Wrapping up an Adventure

So, I am back in LA now. Have been for not quite 2 weeks and life is definitely different.
Not only am I changed from the experience of finally living in Europe - Germany no less, but from the event that is most recent and closer to my heart.
That is the passing of my Uncle Carl.
And the news just this past week of my good friends losing their first baby in a miscarriage! My arrival back here for my Uncle's service and my friend's miscarriage all within the same week.
It has been a time of loss and heartbreak - and transition...

I feel so hurt. I feel a lot of hurt. I feel enriched by my experiences and by the new friendships that I've started in the past few months and the old friendships that I've been able to foster. I am certainly blessed in many other ways lately as well, but I am definitely feeling pain.
The pain several months ago of losing a relationship with a person that I cared very deeply for, the pain of losing a relative who was a mentor, a friend, a spiritual advisor & a father figure. The pain of the loss of my friends' little baby before he was able to take a breath.

I am changed and changing still.

*I am feeling blessed for many things that have come through even in the pain, and eventually I will know the blessings of each of these major losses but for now I am still processing and ebbing with my emotions.

*I have not been this emotionally vulnerable and hyper-sensitive for years! I am close to shutting down it's almost too much.
I know now to just pull myself back - to withdraw a bit and take time to heal myself.

*I now am becoming very much aware of how precious time - MY TIME is. It is really sinking in and I want to make the most of the time that I have here. I've wanted to live my life to the fullest from an early age, but I realize the significance of the time that I HAVE here and I am very choosy as to how I want to spend it and with whom from here on out.

My ears have quickly adjusted back to hearing English all the time. I'm still getting used to tv again. I've hardly had it on and I've been "living" and missed all of my favorite shows until tonight.

I'm very busy still! It started as a whirlwind prep one year ago this week and I haven't stopped yet! Prepping for my trip, prepping on the film once I landed in Berlin, flying home 3 times in 9 months and now wrapping up my uncle's business.
I am quite looking forward to my ANNUAL BIRTHDAY Road Trip and the special trip with my mom. (Sigh!)
And I am looking for lots of quiet time to replenish myself spiritually and emotionally. I am also looking forward to once again focusing on my career and starting my business.

I would have NEVER thought that I would wrap up my European adventure in this way. Ten months away from home living in a foreign land I learned a great deal.
I think that this means that my blog - this particular one will come to an end at this point. Or maybe not just yet, but soon.
For now, I must take time for healing. Healing all of the hurt places in my heart. Letting myself express those emotions and living a wonderful and purposeful life from these experiences!

Until the next time.
Bis bald...
Love to you all,
L