I'm extremely sad right now. This evening got cloudy to match my emotional state.
I had a GREAT weekend with my very best friend from my time in Richmond, my twin sis Valérie who came to visit me from Switzerland. We had our "15 year reunion." That's how long it's been since we last laid eyes on each other. Well, except for skype, but all of those years have gone by since we had been in the same room with each other and it was wonderful to start to catch up on those very full years. It's amazing that we met in Richmond, she being all the way from Geneva. And the fact that we've kept in touch all these years. It's great! She's one of my favourite people in the world!
So maybe my current sadness is emotional let-down from having such a short visit, seulement le week-end, nur wochenende - (only the weekend) before I had to take her to the airport. But I'm sure it's mostly because of the past couple of months and more recently, the past week!
I think this has been the most eventful, emotionally charged 5 months of the past 15 years.
And the main reason for my melancholy today is because a relationship that I enjoyed and was happy with has ended and I had no input whatsoever. And there's nothing I can do from over here. In fact, I had no say in the end at all and that feels so wrong to me! So there's frustration on top of my hurt and sadness.
It's just not very fun right now. There's only so much work I can do to distract myself before the emotions catch up to me and envelope me! I'm really pissed at the world right now. So not fair! So not fair.
I need to be alone right now so I'm appreciating the solitary time although I now have some nice girlfriends here in Berlin who are quite supportive. I know that I can call on them but I think I'm taking a couple of weeks to focus inward. Then I might be ready to surround myself with friends again. I'll have no choice!
In the next couple of weeks I have another quick trip planned! I'll be going to Geneva to visit Valérie. Yes, the very same Valérie who just came to see me. It had to be done. We have 15 years to catch up on! And I have to see at least a tiny bit of Switzerland right now.
Maybe by the time I fly I'll have finished the 7 bars of chocolate that she brought me!!! SEVEN! How did she know I was gonna need some chocolate? I need as much serotonin as I can get right now from that lovely Swiss chocolate.
:(
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